best little whorehouse in texas script pdf

Take that, Stoneberg.Ī man walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing a duck, and he says, “Can you help me because I have a duck on my head?”Ģ. This one makes the cut because of Jessica Harper’s charm, Benji’s reaction, just what an AWESOME movie My Favorite Year is, and the fact that the bad version of the joke is way funnier than the professionally told version. Just in case we needed more proof that big boobs and adorable accents make everything, even bad jokes, better.ĭolly: You know what really frosts my ass?ĭolly: An ice cube about this high. The punchline: Can you believe it? He brained an innocent cat.Ĥ. A large man asks why he is bashing his cat’s head in and Chuckie’s cousin explains the whole story and points at the hood of his car…which has a dead cat stuck to the grille. In a pitch perfect Boston accent, Chuckie enthralls and annoys his friends with a long, drawn out story about how his cousin hits a cat with a car, chases the dying cat across the street, and puts the cat out of its misery. (My long-form story joke included a dead dog, but it was a very small dog, so they let me stay in the state.) Chuckie’s story joke hit all three marks.

It has to include a cat (preferably a dead one). It has to be told like it is the truth, but happened to a friend or, even better, a cousin. See, when anyone who was born within a fifty mile radius of Boston tells a joke, they follow three rules. Because Ben Affleck’s Chuckie is 100% spot on. (BTW: My two favorite things in this scene are Uma’s eyes and the weird lawn sculpture that appears to be judging them both and the joke.)ĥ. But you know what? It fits the scene more perfectly than “hey, thanks for re-starting my heart” would have. This is a bad joke, and it’s about a very unsettling subject–the horrors of baby tomato abuse. How did Tarantino make this list twice? Look. I was going to disqualify this one for breaking the mold, but then I realized it needed to be included for that very same reason. Not because this is such a great joke, but it’s how the joke is told. I’m braving any bad juju that might be coming my way, as well as the wrath of time-travelling 90s goths, by listing this one, and I’m scared. Bill Murray enthralling a room of people, Richard Dreyfus pulling his hair out in a fit of rage, and a classically hilarious joke.

I just think that Tarantino wandered onto the set drunk and kept the footage because he liked the way his hair looked. It’s not really a SPM, and it doesn’t really fit the theme because I don’t think this joke was in the script. This one doesn’t seem to belong on this list. Here are the best jokes from left field (or jflf). Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt so that someone can tell a joke, and you just have to sit there, like a shnook, and wait for the punchline. You’re watching a movie, and enjoying all the trappings that come with it–dialogue, characters, explosions, bared breasts, bras exploding off of bare breasts*.

Best little whorehouse in texas script pdf